April 1st is a good time for doing things that sound like bad ideas or that make me uncomfortable. This wasn't my first flesh hook suspension, but I was much more nervous this time because of the circumstances.
See, my first suspension happened in a secluded field outside. I got to hang from a tree. I did cartwheels and found tiny toads and my girlfriend came with me and I met a friendly lady with pink hair and a gigantic dog made of enthusiasm and saliva. It was the perfect atmosphere for flying.
I knew this time would be different – I went to a middle-of-the-night suspension party in the city, packed with sweaty people and cigarettes and music that went GGRRRR AAAAAARRRRGHHH AAAAAAHHHHH GRRRRRR.
At least I got to hide behind Misha.
Misha has magnets implanted in his fingers and he braids his beard into tentacles and reads fantasy novels and I'm glad he's my friend.
He's the only friend who understands this aspect of my life.
I wish more comforting nerd people got really into stabbing. Then I could go to stab-gatherings where everyone drinks tea instead of smoking cigarettes and we could listen to floaty songs about mermaids drowning people instead of the AAAAAHHHHH AAAAAAAH GRRRRR music.
Ah well. At least the people in the Madison stab-community seem nice, even if I don't know how to interact with them. My regular piercer, Marcus, is the most kind and trustworthy satanist I've ever met. Here are some pictures of him hauling me off the ground:
It took a lot of shoving to get the first hook through. Marcus says I have abnormally tough skin.
Misha told me to look calm. “Okay,” I said, and then he took this picture. It's a good thing maintaining-a-calm-appearance contests aren't really a thing. I would be the best at losing.
Camera flashes are so weird. The room looked nothing like this – it was really dark, with different colored lights projected against the walls.
Aaaaand liftoff. This is where my feeling of awkwardness vanished and was replaced with fireflies.
Wheeee! I did a lot of swinging. This was a more chill moment.
It was difficult to lift my arms any higher than this.
Not sure what's going on here – I think I'm slowing down from a spin. Marcus spun me really fast a few times and I lost all sense of direction and felt like a giddy spaceship hurtling through the cosmos.
I AM NOT TOUCHING THE FLOOR AND THAT IS AMAZING. Bitches.
Again, I have no idea what's actually going on here, but I think it's funny that I'm hanging from strings and it looks like I'm operating an invisible marionette.
Misha braved a booby-trapped refrigerator to get this water for me. The fridge threw eggs at him and then there were smashed eggs on the floor but it wasn't my problem because I had a mouth full of water and a brain full of glitter and I was a spaceship.
Soon the scars will blend in with my acne. Terrible skin = great camouflage.